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Dear Melania Trump,

Black women have something important to say about relationships.

ICYMI, there’s this movement called “Boy, Bye.” Generally, folks give use this expression in the dismissal of someone or someone’s action. They may follow this expression up with a peace sign to make it more effective, but the idea is that they are saying that they are not taking ish from anyone.

Mary J. Blige is case in point: she responded to her now-ex-husband Kendu Isaacs‘ alleged cheating with her protege by moving on from the drama. In fact, she turned to music with her album, Strength Of A Woman. Blige has proved that there’s a cathartic healing that takes place through music, especially when one deals with the hurt of a relationship. In this way, she turned her pain into prosperity; she got her groove back. And after the dust settled a bit, she was honored with a Hollywood Walk of Fame star. She dealt with the drama, and despite some fallout, it made her stronger.

Paula Patton left her troubles behind when she moved on Robin Thicke after public scrutiny over Thicke cheating on her. She said this on The Meredith Viera Show in March 2015: “I’m A Real Woman Now!” This was her rallying cry to other women to walk out of the crippling shadows of their failed relationships, her call to them that life can begin anew after heartbreak. She had this new chapter of life right in front of her.

With all that craziness about Trump, there has got to be a moment when a breaking point is reached. The talk of cheating, porn stars, sexual assault, racism and all other horrible AF things about Trump is not going to be tolerated. Women should not put up with disrespect in any form for any time.

Terrible disrespect is what happens when one marries a man that has taken permanent residence in the sunken place, reaching new lows every damn day. Trump’s life has more problems than a reality-TV script, and you gotta be tired of the constant sideeye. This “grabbing women by the p*ssy” horror must be condemned. The voices of porn star Stormy Daniels, the women who have accused Trump of assault and the countless women that dislike Trump and his toxic masculinity must be keeping you up at night. It’s clear why you are reportedly so miserable.

Daniels being paid off supposedly made you “furious” and sent you to spend major coins on traveling to Mar-a-Lago to get away from Trump. Taxpayers shouldn’t have to bear the burden of your frustration, but at least you are not frontin’ about things. Pretending just won’t help, nor will racism, stupidity or any other horrible foolishness going on with people in the White House. Black America won’t accept ignorance or any offensive thing, especially this troubling marriage. America is calling you to do better.

It’s unclear whether you may stand near Trump at Tuesday night’s State Of the Union, but taking a page from Blige or Patton’s playbook is highly recommended. Traveling somewhere for some self-work time can help in correcting your past fails, reforming your public image and pushing back against the damage. Hopefully, your next trip won’t cost taxpayers money though.

Sincerely, Black Women


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An Open Letter To Melania Trump From Black Women  was originally published on