Am I Worthy of Love?
Digging Deep Within Myself To Find The Answer
By: Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”
Are you worthy of love? This is a question we rarely ask ourselves, and neglect to do so because in our minds we automatically believe that we are. But our consistent failed relationships and the repetitious selection of unloving partners are clear indications that deep inside we may feel unworthy of love. So let’s take some time together to look at this issue and answer the question, “Am I worthy of love?”
Oftentimes, many of us do not take the time to deeply reflect about our consistent failed relationships. We never take the time to look at the repetitive themes, repetitive partners who are the same, yet are different people, that have not been good for us. We never ask ourselves why we continue to choose partners that do not love us even though all of these things are clear signals that something is wrong. Failure to give attention to these consistent issues and repetitive themes is a problem. These issues will persist if you do not stop and look at the flashing red signals that are telling you that something is wrong. If you want a positive, loving relationship that will nurture and support you, it is necessary that you begin to look seriously at these signals to determine what it is that the Divine is asking you to give attention. Instead of blaming him or her for how they treated you, ask yourself what is the lesson and why did you allow him or her to treat you this way?
Facing these hard questions means walking into a place of discomfort and unfamiliarity that is frightening to most. The walk may be painful and possibly traumatic, but it is necessary to identify and locate the ailment that is causing us to select and experience partners with whom we’ve felt great pain, and who are unworthy of our love. Asking yourself if you are worthy of love means dissecting uncomfortable truths and realities that we often do not want to face.
Asking yourself questions such as, why do you continue to select partners that do not return your love? Or, why do you continue to select partners that physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually abuse you? Or, why you choose partners that constantly take you for granted or consistently takes from you and fails to give back? Or, why you choose partners that are “unequally yoked” with you? Or, why you choose partners who constantly “cheat” on you? Or, why you choose partners who don’t really “see” you?
If you take a critical, hard look at each of these questions above and walk the journey to discover the truth, it is clear that on some level, you do not truly love yourself. Loving yourself calls for making different choices for you. It calls for you to walk away from people who misuse you. It calls for you to walk away from relationships in which you feel your love is not returned. It calls for you to walk away from relationships where you are physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually abused. It calls for you to walk away from relationships where there is an “unequal” exchange. It calls for you to walk away from partners who consistently “cheat” on you. It calls for you to walk away from partners who don’t even “see” you.
If you do not love yourself, how can you feel worthy of love? When you feel worthy of love, you attract love. Remember, you attract what you are. And when you believe who you are and what you are deserving of, you will get. Only you know your truth. The truth is spoken between you and God. You know the answer to your crises or dilemma. You know if you feel worthy of love. So I ask, do you feel worthy of love?
Practical Tips and Exercises:
• Purchase a journal and pen/pencil that speaks to you.
• Find a comfortable place where you will experience peace and solitude and will be undisturbed.
• Ensure that your physical environment where you experience peace and solitude is physically pleasing to you (playing light music, burning candles, incense and aromatic oil burners, etc.)
• Ask yourself with your deepest knowing, “Do you feel worthy of love?” Please be honest with yourself. This deep knowing, again, is between you and God.
• Journal your response. If the answer is:
• Yes, please state why and support with concrete examples from your life and personal romantic relationships.
• No, please state why and support with concrete examples from your life and personal romantic relationships.
• If your answer is no, look at the concrete examples that you wrote and ask yourself why do you allow certain things that are unloving to you to occur in your life. Please journal and be honest with your responses.
• Once you have identified the reasons why you allow certain things to occur in your life that are unloving to you, think about what could you do differently to be more supportive and loving of you. Please journal your responses.
• Make a timeline in which you will begin to take action to implement the changes that you have identified that will be supportive and loving to you.
Make a concerted effort to implement your changes. It may be a little challenging at first, but it will get easier, and before long, your changes will become a part of you. You will be a new you. One that loves him/herself, and one that is truly worthy of love!
Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”
Empowering individuals, families and communities.