How Do I Begin To Love Me?

Unpeeling the Layers to Face My Truth

By: Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”

Loving yourself is the key to finding the healthy relationship you deserve. What we often forget is that a catalyst to finding a loving, healthy relationship is loving ourselves. We often believe that we fully understand how to love ourselves, and oftentimes ignore whether we truly do. We are blinded with the belief that we love ourselves when we adorn ourselves in the latest fashion, drive the newest cars and are making great money. But, what we neglect is whether we love ourselves at our core. It is the core, the essence of who we are which demonstrates whether we truly love ourselves. Loving yourself at the core is the love that is lasting. Loving yourself at the core is the love that is nurturing. Loving yourself at the core is the love that is sustaining. Loving yourself at the core connects you with your higher consciousness, and allows you to journey on your path to finding the healthy, loving relationship that you desire. So, let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you begin to love the most important person that you know…you.

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Beginning to love you is a challenge to most people. Loving yourself requires careful reflection and consideration of who you are. This means learning to get to know you, your likes/dislikes, gifts/talents, as well as your challenges. Journeying with you requires honesty and truth. It means peeling back the layers to discover who you are, facing the beauty and the ugliness without judgment, understanding fully that both are parts of you, parts of you that make you the person who you are. Both are the reasons why you exist, and both are the reasons why you were DIVINELY created …to be you!

Loving you means it’s okay to say “no” to something that you do not feel. Loving you means choosing yourself when you know in your deepest knowing that the option presented is not for you. Loving you means restoring balance in your life when things are off kilter. Loving you means being selfless when you know that your selflessness is beneficial to the collective. Loving other people is a requirement to loving you! It demonstrates that you have the capacity and the fortitude to give from the heart and soul which is beneficial to you and others.

Learning to love you takes work, consistent work that is arduous and humbling, but yet powerful and empowering! Journeying to loving oneself is a necessary endeavor in order to tap into the love and the relationship you desire. So, put on your armor, journey into your truth to discover the most beautiful being that you’ve ever known…yourself.

Become A Match For The Person That Is Suited For You

When you love you, you become a match for the person that is suited for you. In your deepest knowing, you know this. You know who is right for you and who isn’t. You lie to yourself, for various reasons, and are hesitant to face the truth because of what it would look like to other people, because of your investment in certain people and because of the fear of being alone. But it is the courage of your truth, the courage of your honesty that will liberate and allow you to find the love and relationship that are ultimately yours. You must do the work. You must walk the path of self enlightenment to discover who is truly for you. In order to do this, you must begin to love yourself. Learning to love you will allow you to transcend challenges, moving them out of your path to discover the essence of who you are, what you want and what you deserve. Value you, and all that you bring to this planet. Be a pioneer in this world…learn how to love you!!

Practical Tips and Exercises:

• Purchase a journal and pen/pencil that speaks to you.

• Find a comfortable place where you will experience peace and solitude and will be undisturbed.

• Ensure that your physical environment where you experience peace and solitude is physically pleasing to you (playing light music, burning candles, incense and aromatic oil burners, etc.)

• Ask yourself with your deepest knowing, “Who am I?” To assist you with your answer, please answer the questions below. Remember, be honest and truthful with yourself.

• List ten qualities that you like about yourself. These qualities must be non-physical characteristics. Why do you like these things about yourself?

• List ten qualities that you dislike about yourself. These qualities must be non-physical characteristics. Why do you dislike these things about yourself?

• List ten things that you consider to be your gifts/talents. Why do you consider these things to be gifts/talents?

• List ten things that you consider to be your challenges. Why do you consider these things to be challenges?

• Journal your responses.

• Develop positive affirmations that reflect the characteristics that you like and dislike about yourself. Remember, those things that you dislike about yourself, turn them into a positive. For example, you may dislike that you are a controlling person. Your affirmation could be, “I surrender to the process and allow it to move freely.” You should also develop a list of positive affirmations that reflect your gifts/talents as well as your challenges. One of your challenges may be money and you may feel that you do not make enough money. A positive affirmation that you can utilize is, “Money flows to me freely and abundantly.”

Repeat this exercise for ninety (90) days. Speaking your affirmations aloud, in front of a mirror, for approximately five (5) to fifteen (15) minutes each day. Consistent effort with focused intention will allow you to begin to know you and to become you, leading you down the path of learning how to love yourself!

Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”

Empowering individuals, families and communities.


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