Understanding Loneliness
Shifting Your State of Mind to the State of Being
By Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”
Loneliness, that inarticulable emptiness that pains our soul, is what most of us try to avoid. It knaws at us, testing the strength and courage we hold, asking us to dig deep to explore the feeling and why we find ourselves there. Loneliness causes us to do silly things, such as engaging in relationships that are non-supportive and toxic, manipulate situations to secure companionship and act in ways that are damaging to ourselves.
Everyone wants to have companionship and a love that is nurturing and sustaining to the soul. Most people will do anything to get it and are oftentimes still lonely after pursuing various roads to receive it. You see, loneliness is a state of mind, an attitude that can be changed based on our perceptions and our willingness to alter how we look at life. It is there and it is real, but, remember, your perception is your reality, and with effort and intention, this perception can be changed. Your thoughts and feelings of your state of loneliness can be re-framed, allowing you to see that this period in your life is a DIVINE gift, a gift of solitude to spend with yourself, a gift of solitude to spend with the DIVINE!
As we walk the path of loneliness together, exploring the feelings and the thoughts associated with loneliness are imperative. It is through the honesty and truth of your feelings and thoughts that will lead you to understanding your loneliness and how it can change. What does loneliness feel like to you? When you feel lonely, what thoughts come up for you? Do you blame other people for your loneliness? Do you blame yourself? Do you ask yourself how this could change? Can you see this another way? Exploring questions such as these, through honest pensive thought, can unearth issues that are helpful in moving you out of the state of loneliness and into a state of being, accepting where you are presently and why it is important to be there.
Walking this path can generate feelings of insecurity, feelings of being unwanted and unvalued. However, walking this path, if done with truth and honesty, guarantees an emergence of something special. Something special such as finding the delicate and loving side of ourselves that allows us to understand the full meaning of loneliness, and finding the side of ourselves that re-frames the state of loneliness to a broader understanding, an opportunity to spend time with us, to spend time with ourselves.
Lonely vs. Alone
Being lonely is different than being alone. Being lonely generates feelings of necessity to find companionship, to find other people or things to fill the void. But, loneliness does not have to be viewed this way. Being lonely empowers us to move into our spiritual understanding of ourselves. It allows us to get to know us, to get to know God. It is through this deeper understanding and powerful shifting that we will begin to know aloneness, not loneliness.
Every soul yearns to connect with another; it is natural. And, this yearning is natural because we are all from the Source, the Divine Source of Creation, whatever we choose to call it, that each of us knows as God. So, it is only natural that you would desire to connect or re-connect with what you are. And, it is because of this soul yearning, when we are companionless, we experience feelings of desperation, loneliness and unworthiness; directing us to choose relationships that are not good for us or people that are not right for us. Feeling hopeless and disappointed, this emptiness drives us to look for things outside of ourselves to affirm us and our existence. It is here where we fill our void with toxic people, loving animals and hard work to avoid confronting the emptiness we feel within. It is through these avenues that we avoid us, not wanting to look at our picture and dissect what needs to be done to shift our thinking. But this is your most powerful moment, your moment to shift out of loneliness to confront your truth, the truth that being alone is a gift, a gift from the DIVINE to understand it and to know yourself.
Move into your power! The call is yours! Maximize on this period to move you into your gifting so that you may enter into the relationship and experience the companionship that you desire and deserve!
Practical Tips and Exercises:• Purchase a journal and pen/pencil that speaks to you. • Find a comfortable place where you will experience peace and solitude and will be undisturbed. • Ensure that your physical environment where you experience peace and solitude is physically pleasing to you (playing light music, burning candles, incense and aromatic oil burners, etc.) • Answer the questions below with your deepest knowing. Remember, be honest and truthful with yourself. • Why am I lonely? • How does loneliness make me feel? • Why have I chosen this experience of loneliness? To assist you with this question, think about what the Divine wants you to know about yourself and it. • How can I see my loneliness differently? • What actions will I take to shift out of my state of loneliness and into a state of being (accepting where I am presently, why I am there, and being okay with being there)? • Journal your responses. Spend approximately thirty (30) minutes per day for thirty (30) days moving through these questions. Be open to the answers and allow yourself to feel what is unpleasant and take action to move beyond the discomfort. Remember, it is the quiet, deep reflection that will allow you to know and understand you and the DIVINE, and will also shift your thinking out of loneliness into a powerful state of BEING!! Stephanie S. Franklin, Esq., “Mecca”Empowering individuals, families and communities. |
